All You Have To Do Is Ask
by Junebugsm
Summary: Callie knew it was dangerous, she knew it was risky, she knew it was downright stupid but she also knew that Stef would come for her - and she did; only, she didn't give Callie what she truly needed.


Callie knew it was dangerous, she knew it was risky, she knew it was downright stupid but she also knew that Stef would come for her - and she did; only, she didn't give Callie what she truly needed.

(A one-shot based on the episode Resist (501) where all Callie needed was a hug from Stef.)

* * *

Stef had hugged everyone...

She'd hugged Jude the moment they walked in the front door and she saw his eyes all red and raw from the pepper-spray. She'd hugged Mariana soon after, proud of her daughter for standing up for what was right no matter how difficult it was. She'd hugged Brandon when she found him sitting and starring miserably at the broken piano keys that littered the floor and she'd even hugged Jesus because he couldn't fully control his impulses no matter how much he wanted to. And she'd hugged Lena on several occasions - when Lena mentioned the events at the school, when they'd dealt with Jesus and Brandon and all their drama and when Stef had told Lena the full story of what had happened to Callie that night.

So Stef had hugged everyone. Everyone but her.

* * *

Callie sat in the bathtub in much the same way she had on her very first night in the house she now called home, and she began to cry as the events of the day finally caught up to her. There was so much happening in her life right now that she was finding it hard to keep track of it all. It ranged from trivial things like breaking up with AJ all the way to almost being raped or shot by Russel. Callie had long since learned that bad things followed her around - she was supposed to have gone to jail and she felt like her life was ending which was why she'd done what she did for Diamond and Christina. There was no need to ruin both their lives when hers was going to be ruined anyway.

She had known that Stef would come for her - she didn't doubt that for a second. Yes, she knew it was dangerous and stupid, she knew there was a chance that things wouldn't work out the way she hoped but she knew that Stef would do anything to find her. She Stef had done exactly that.

Callie saw the relief in her mother's eyes when she finally spotted her daughter and she'd also seen the fatigue in them as she tried to understand why Callie would do something so foolish. She stood and listened as Stef talked to Diamond; accepting her apology for involving Callie in her mess and agreeing yet again to take up their offer to help her out of the life she had been sucked into. She had sat in the car and listened to Stef tell her about Troy Johnson's confession and her chance at freedom and she'd listened to her practically break down at the thought that Callie almost didn't live long enough to find out about it.

Callie heard it all and she felt it all but the one thing she expected, the one thing she wanted, the one thing she truly needed - she didn't get. After all of that Stef just shook her head, started the engine and drove home, despite she herself mentioning that Callie could have ended up dead tonight.

Now Callie sat in the solitude of the bathroom as her tears mingled with the water around her and imagined what it would be have been like to have Stef tell her, just once, that she loved her and that she was happy that everything had turned out okay.

After what seemed like an eternity Callie finally climbed out of the now tepid water and dried herself off, put on the most comfortable pajamas she owned she headed out of the bathroom through the hallway door. She knew there was no point in trying to go to sleep for she was bound to toss and turn for hours, disturbing Mariana in the process. Instead, Callie headed downstairs past four closed bedroom doors where she assumed everyone was fast asleep. Little did she know that Stef was also unable to sleep, the images of her daughter's lifeless body lying cold and grey too haunting for her to close her eyes.

* * *

"Shouldn't you be in bed by now?" Stef's voice startled Callie who was just about to get herself a cup of hot chocolate. Spinning around she spotted Stef sitting in the corner of the dark breakfast nook; a mug of something warm in her own hands.

"I couldn't sleep." Callie admitted as Stef got up, turned on one kitchen light and gently took Callie's mug from her and began making the drink her daughter wanted.

"Marshmallows?" Stef asked once the cocoa was filled. But Callie just shook her head, she didn't need the extra sugar keeping her up even further. "Come sit." Stef instructed as she handed Callie her mug and then picked her own back up off the kitchen table.

The two sat together in the breakfast nook with only the one kitchen light illuminating the large room. They sipped their respective drinks in silence for a good five minutes, letting the warm liquid calm their wavering nerves. Neither was quite ready to say anything just yet but they both knew that the talking would begin soon - it always did for the older woman couldn't bear to see her children suffer and do nothing to help.

"What's on your mind?" Stef finally asked when more than half of her tea was finished.

Callie shrugged, not even knowing where to begin. Everything was so jumbled up inside her head she could barely tell things apart.

"Why did you do it?" Stef finally asked the question that she'd been trying all evening to figure out. "Why would you put yourself in so much danger?"

This time Callie sighed as she prepared to answer as honestly as she could. "Christina didn't want to go with Diamond and Diamond was so scared that if she didn't bring Russel a new girl then he'd kill her. I was going to jail anyway so I figured I could do this for both of them before I got locked up."

"Did it not occur to you that you may not actually come out of this?" Stef questioned, wondering if her daughter truly considered all the consequences of her actions. "Callie, being killed today would have been the least of your worries." Stef explained brutally. "What if I couldn't find you? What if you got sucked into this life Callie? What if you were forced to sell yourself everyday to any man that had a few hundred bucks to spare?"

By now Callie was crying again. She knew all of this, she had known it right from the start but having Stef throw it all at her with no sugarcoating was too much for her.

"You jumped in that van with only an app on a phone to get you out." Stef continued mercilessly. "And even then you lost your phone along the way."

"Diamond told me to hide it so he wouldn't find it on me." Callie tried to explain.

"Diamond couldn't save herself from all that Callie, what made you think she could save you?" Stef questioned. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She practically shook as she too began to cry slightly. The events of the night had taken a toll on both of them and their emotions were running rampant.

"I'm sorry." Callie finally said, the only thing she could for there was nothing else she could say; no way to make it up to them; no way to undo what she'd done.

"No." Stef rejected it, shaking her head. "No, you can't just say you're sorry. Sorry doesn't mean that you regret what you did, it means that you realize you did something wrong and you try and try to do better but you Callie, you just keep on and on throwing yourself to the wolves like you don't matter."

If it was at all possible Callie was crying more now than before as she listened to her mother. She'd seen Stef cry only a handful of times so far - when her father had died, when she and Lena got married, when they lost Frankie and after her surgery when Stef had finally been allowed to hold her children again. But never once had she seen her cry because of her and the thought that Stef didn't accept her apology was crushing. Yes, she'd apologized before and yes she'd made stupid decisions again but that didn't mean she wasn't truly sorry and if there was something she could do to take it all back she would.

"You matter Callie." Stef continued, taking a turn that surprised Callie. "You matter to me and to mama and to your brothers and sister even if you don't matter to yourself. There are other people you have to think about when you make these reckless decisions. We're the ones who will be left behind, wondering if you're lying dead in a ditch or alive somewhere being tortured and held against your will. We're the ones who have to find a way to go on and you don't have a right to put us all through that. You don't have a right to just decide that you're worth nothing."

"OKAY." Callie finally snapped as she listened to Stef unyielding rant. "I get it. I said I was sorry, that's all I can do. I'll try and do better, I promise but just stop, please, just stop." She begged, her whole body shaking now. All evening she'd felt so lost and so alone but now that she was home and safe she felt no better.

Stef was now crying openly too as she studied her daughter. "I can't even begin to explain to you what I was feeling tonight." Stef stated, an air of defeat filling her voice. "I honestly thought I was never going to find you Callie. You were so damn close to the border and if they took you across it the chances of us ever finding you was slim to none. You have no idea how many girls go missing every year. They get taken and there is no escape; you're trapped. We have been trying for years to find them but we don't even have a clue where to look." She paused here a moment and stared Callie square in the eyes, "I need you to understand what I'm saying. I need you to realize just how horrible this could have been."

This time Callie didn't respond for she'd already apologized, she'd already said that she understood and she'd already promised to do better. She just sat and listened as Stef went on, drilling each and every possible outcome into her head in the hopes that they never have a repeat of the night. The truth was that she did value her life, and she valued the lives of her family even more. She hadn't done any of this with the intent of hurting anyone and she hadn't meant to frighten Stef. She'd just done what she thought was right; what she thought would do the most good. But it didn't seem to matter for Stef still seemed so angry.

"I'm really tired." Callie finally said, not even sure if Stef was still talking or not. She was now so tired, her body ached and her head felt like it was filled with cotton. "I just need to lie down now." She stated, deaf and blind to everything around her. She got up to head upstairs to her room but before she could even get both feet firmly on the ground she felt herself being pulled back.

Once she got over the disorientation of falling she realized that she was being held in an embrace so tight, Stef's arms were shaking from the force. A few more moments helped clear her foggy mind and she could hear Stef whispering into her ear.

"I love you." Stef said, her voice quivering with emotion. "I love you so much and you nearly killed me tonight. I was practically sick to my stomach worrying about you. You mean far too much to me for stunts like this you hear me?"

Callie nodded as she circled her own arms around her mother, holding her just as tight. "I'm sorry." She said again, wishing desperately that Stef would believe her.

"I know." Stef finally accepted. "I know you are." She continued to hold Callie and began peppering kisses on her head, thankful that she still had the chance to do that.

"I wanted this from the time you found us." Callie finally admitted, relishing every moment of this hug. "I just needed you to hold me and keep me safe. I knew you'd find me." She explained, giving Stef the credit she was due.

But Stef pulled away then and held Callie's face firmly in her own, making the girl look directly at her. "I wasn't a cop today, Callie." Stef explained. "I wasn't a cop with years of training. Today I was a terrified mother searching franticly for her missing daughter."

Callie smiled slightly at the image that Stef had painted. She liked being Stef's daughter and she liked the idea of having a mother that would stop at nothing to help her.

"I'm sorry I didn't hug you." Stef continued as she once again pulled Callie into a bone crushing hug. "But I wasn't thinking straight. All I could think about was what could have happened and I have never been more terrified in my life. I don't just want to hug you tonight Callie, I want to be able to hug you for the rest of my life and you have to do your part to make sure that I can. And anytime you need a hug, no matter what, all you have to do is ask."

* * *

Author's Note:

Today's episode was fantastic and as usual I loved Stef but I was very disappointed when she didn't so much as tell Callie that she was happy she was safe. Stef is usually the first one there to comfort her family and hugs and kisses are never in short supply with her so I really missed it today which is why I wrote this.

I hope you guys enjoy it; thanks for reading this and all my other stories, you are awesome.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Love Junebug.

PS: By Buggling turned two last week… where the hell did the time go?


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